Military Mommy-to-be

Our certainly uncertain life 

Although becoming a 'military wife' didn't come without its sacrifices, I must admit that it's overall not a bad gig. It is times like these however, that I don't look forward to. While Matt is off on an island in the sun, I'm stuck in rainy Tokyo with an empty house to go home to after work. (I suppose i should admit he doesn't always get sent amazing places ;) Don't get me wrong, it's not all 'doom and gloom' but I can't help but think of our future as a family. After all, we aren't your average suburban family living in small town America. 

Military life brings plenty of uncertainty. The things that are certain include moves, deployments/TDYs, seeing friends come and go and everything in between. With all this chaos it's important to be thankful that as a couple we are blessed to have each other. We are stable, happy, resourceful and positive. 

That being said, I have to admit that we both seem to find the best in every scenario. For example, the strength that distance can bring, or the amazing chance to see the world with what seems like the roll of the dice. A quote I have always loved and seem to relate to is, "I am not what happened to me, I am what I chose to become" 

- C.G. Jung.

I am confident that we will always try to see the good in every situation we come upon as a family; no matter how much or little choice we may have in the matter. That being said, I think the one fear I truly have is the potential that Matt could miss out. And if/when Matt misses out we all miss out as a family. I guess there's no way around the fear of "what if" and that's frustrating. "What if he misses the birth of his children? The first steps, Christmas or birthdays?" All of these scenarios are very real and tend to tug at my heart strings. It's important to realize that in the wake of these 'what ifs' comes brighter days. As a military family our kids will grow up to experience so many amazing things we might not have otherwise exposed them to. They will see, learn, and do so much, and the hard stuff will make inevitably them stronger. Most importantly, they will be provided for. 

I will also admit that I'm already making it a priority to strategize ways to minimize having our family see them grow up in pictures. This can be controlled only up to a certain point, but my next tropical vacation may have to take a backseat to stateside trips home so grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles etc. can spend a few precious moments soaking up baby time. Of course, I say this now... wait till' I need that vacation! 

The main thing I need to try to remember is that while much of the future may not be in my control, my attitude is still a choice. It's important to try not to get hung up on the what, when, and where of it all; it's enough to drive you crazy! After all, even if you do have choices, ask yourself, "Do things typically turn out how you thought they would anyway?" And really, how often do we even know what it is that we want? I suppose I will sum up my thoughts with a quote that I first heard as a child: 

 

“Alice came to a fork in the road. 'Which road do I take?' she asked.

'Where do you want to go?' responded the Cheshire Cat.

'I don't know,' Alice answered.

'Then,' said the Cat, 'it doesn't matter.” 

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland